Living Life Through The Wrong Lens!

    

    When is the last time that you have ever been to an optometrist to have your eyes checked out? How annoying is it to see things blurry, and not be able to focus properly on objects? Well imagine living life and not seeing things the way others see it. Well this has been me my whole life ever since elementary school. I want to share my personal experience and then leave some suggestions that have helped me in recent years. 

    When I was a young kid, I loved playing with toys and classmates. I was a normal kid just like everyone else. I had friends in preschool and life was good. Once I started Elementary school, that's when things changed. I started Elementary school and I was nervous like many kids who get nervous their first few days of school. I had a decent class size and nothing out of the ordinary. But one thing that I struggled with was approaching others kids and introducing myself. I never learned how to say hi and just kept my presence passive. There were a few times where I would go join groups during recess to see what's up, but never stayed long enough to immerse myself. I would try a few groups to see what's up, but that was about it. I normally would chill at the other end of the playground and wait to head back inside. I did this all through Elementary School and didn't think nothing of it. As time went on I would do the same thing all through Middle and High School. I never really learned how to be social and make friends. I had a couple of friends that lived near me, but we wouldn't really do a lot after school. This was my norm growing up as a kid. As time went on, I would have thoughts in my head like does anybody want to be my friend? Is there something wrong with me? And I just accepted it. I expected others to come to me to introduce themselves and put in the work to be my friend. Growing up I had four sisters. I had one younger and three older sisters. I was the only boy in the family besides my Dad. As I grew up with my sisters, I would have thoughts that I never could fit in with my sisters, because of my gender. They would separate themselves from me from normal activities sisters do. They did not do this to avoid me. I just always thought I was in the wrong. 

    Now let's fast-forward to the present. I am now in my thirties. I have a sister who I have a stronger relationship with. Why? Well we are close in age and had to share a bathroom and naturally felt closer. One day as we were talking on Facebook, I was telling her of my frustrations with my sisters and how I felt left out. I had developed a mentality that they were mad at me over the years because I'm the black sheep in a white flock. She pointed to me that nobody has ever hated me and to not think like that. At that moment it clicked! And I started changing how I perceived life after that conversation. Throughout my life I always thought it was me being the faulty one. I had developed bad habits of thinking whether it was my peers or family members. And those thoughts led me to really believing that they were true. I want to provide a few things that have helped me in my life that has had tremendous positive impacts!

 1. If you are young or old and you ever had similar thoughts, please talk to someone whether it's the person you are having those thoughts for or a counselor. Understand the truth and make the correction of perception. 

 2. Over the years these thoughts that I had left me to feel depressed. If you feel like step 1 does not help, then maybe talk to your doctor about antidepressants. Antidepressants have helped my depression and anxiety tremendously! I'm not a doctor nor is this medical advise. 

 3. Listen to positive affirmations whether they are subliminal messages, hypnosis, meditations, or uplifting songs. Through repetition it helps with developing a better mindset! 

 4. Lastly, make sure you take care of yourself. And what I mean is make sure you stay hydrated, exercise (even if it's 30 mins a day), eat healthy, go see your family and friends, and get a good amount of sleep

    My whole life I was viewing things different because the lens that I had developed throughout my life. I would advise if you had or currently experiencing similar situations, please know you are not alone and there are resources to help! It's never to late and there are people out there who do love and care for you. If you change your lens then things will focus clearly and be easier to see!